So a recurring feeling has arrived, one that still poses the question; is it worth the suffering?
In the past I realised those reflections and never felt comfortable with what I saw, and over time I learnt to deal with them, but recently I have discovered that all I did was turn down the lights in what is a room full of mirrors.
So for years I muddled my way through what had become a darkened room full of objects, challenges, more complex than they ever had to be.
Along the way I've broken things I've stumbled into in the dark, clumsily making my way.
Recently however I decided to turn the lights back up, to tidy up some of the mess I had made and look for the path to take.
In doing so I've seen my reflection, again, it's been a long time, so long I had forgotten what scars I bare.
Now I find myself with mirrors all around me, no place to turn and hide from.
I've chosen to do this now, I should of chosen sooner.
Time to face my fears and learn myself, learn to enjoy those reflections, discover how they not only shine in on yourself but allow you to see more of everything else around you and guide me on a journey.
Sometimes it takes a sharp moment of pain to make you decide the anguish of facing up to yourself and becoming the person you deserve to be.
Losing a friend recently and so suddenly has taken some time to sink in, knowing he must of failed to find a way to love himself just enforces your own desire to find your own way.
Something good will come of something tragic, reflections are nothing to be afraid of, but be squared up to, accepted and embraced.
To you, to a catalyst, to me and to the future.
